At first he was cool and would wash people’s cars and picking up animal poop from yards. But it turns out he wasn’t helpful. He was gathering materials and was stealing polluted dirt, piles of shit, and anything else he could find into grotesque golems that roam town and do his bidding. It’s unbearable to go to the market for some bread and milk only to discover the waste elemental made of animated shit and cigarette butts is there to get groceries for him. It’s a fucking nightmare and it makes me want to wear anti magic pendants to fuck up his errands - but that leaves behind unanimated filth that has to be moved by us mundanes. It’s so one sided it’s like tyranny.
Two birds, one stone. You have the cleanest town in the area for free, and he gets his groceries done. Do you know how many towns would kill for that?
Mine installs programs with easy to understand pop up prompts that replaces text files and filing.
I would like to know more
Sells
drugsherbs and potionsI haven’t seen him all week because he’s been pondering his orb.
Unfreeze self checkouts
Oh def. Mine waves a fob and then hits some numbers, and usually waives whatever didn’t get scanned properly.
Shudders in visual source safe.
Ours speaks in riddles but I’m really bad at riddles so I’m still unsure of why we hired him in the first place. The last town wizard conjured unspeakable entities and was really good at making balloon animals.
He walks among us like anyone else, but when an opportunity comes along, he puts on his robe and wizard hat.
He arrives neither early or late, but precisely when he means to.
I’m getting sick of that excuse, Gandalf!
He’s SUCH a flake!
If only… I’m constantly late.
… except to parties since they don’t start until I arrive.
Crack
Bus shelter wizardry
I make my switch run android and summon demons by not getting enough sleep
presumably when they’re in sub mode?
Provides sick ass snacks for community sacrifice night
He just walks by, suddenly.
Casting his shadow, weaving his spell
Compiling magic runes in the basem… I mean underground laboratory
I maintain the balance of the spheres, put pride into the hearts of gender bendy men with my badass skirts, and keep the database server up.
Put his dick in my ass.
I wish to take council with this fellow practitioner of the magical arts.
Is it icy and refreshing?
