

Yikes, that terrible…
I think you need some more “official” help to this (I dont know where to direct you though…)
As to the “shaping” part, that’s your dad traumatizing you to conform to patriarchy and eventually become emotionally numb and cruel, ~just what patriarchy wants in order to survive… ughh, that’s really bad (you can learn more from the book “The will to change”, where bell hooks explains it very well)
Maybe lemm.ee going down? (And solarpnk was projected to be down until July I think, but the admin managed to bring it up much sooner eventually.)