This is the kind of magazine page that 90s-kid-me would stare at for hours fantasizing over. Even looking at it now, it’s surprisingly easy for me to ignore the objective technical limitations and get hyped.

Side note: can we talk about that 1ST PC GUN on the mid-left there? Dude…

I instinctively read that in Homestar Runner’s voice.

37?!?!?

glances into mirror

Oh.

Right.

…Shit.

Aw, shucks… 🙂

Boomhauer, for once in my life, I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.

pops another beer

I wish.

Crypto-whatsit? Is that something from one of Bobby’s vid’ya games?

It’s a new form of money, Hank. VIRTUAL MONEY.

Well, excuse me, Dale, but here where I live, in the REAL WORLD, we already have a perfectly fine money. It’s called AMERICAN DOLLARS and it works just fine, I tell ya h’wat.

You say that now, Hank, but wait until the cyber-swarm-uprising of 2034 comes and replaces your precious “real world” with a virtualsphere so indiscernible from what you think you know as real! Wake up and see what’s coming on the horizon!

Can you see me kicking your ass on the horizon?

Good ol’ Fink Manufacturing…

Y’know, pair this thing with some fluorescent neon lights and you got some solid vaporwave vibes there. 😎

Classic KITH.

“I have a chainsaw you can borrow.”

winces “Ooooh…I’m an AXE murderer.”

Fiend! The purse you clutch is my own! I know you not!

The worst is not knowing if you’ll be able to collect the chest after the cutscene, or if the game will auto-teleport you to a boss fight or different area and cut you off from the treasure permanently.