I won’t.

Honestly if I don’t have $100,000 by 11/25 I’m ending it.

Everyone else does between 15 and 19, they have their own houses and cars they bought with their jobs, yet I’m almost 30 and I have nothing. Everyone else is getting married at 23. At 30 I’ll still be trying to move out just like I will be at 50, and 80, and after retiring I’ll still be trying to move out by gambling or grinding online stuff until I die in the house I’ll stuck in. Might as well cut my losses.

There are so many people who deserve it more, now why would I block them from receiving help, so I could be an even bigger burdensome waste of resources? Bruh, come on. My mother literally took food from a food bank that she didn’t need, made each family member (except me because I’d escape) do it and take 4 times the amount alotted to each household, to just NOT use. Literally wasting resources that someone in need could use. Why would I do that myself?

I’m just saying if your life was ruined at the start then it’s ruined forever, either continue living a ruined life or give up.

No one has ever fixed their lives after 20. It only gets worse if you’re not rich as a teenager or popular online before then. Everything after 20 is just drug addiction and fighting. And even if someone manages to fix their lives later, it’s always in old age where it wouldn’t have mattered. Yeah… all that work and uphill grinding for one week of freedom, sooooo worth it.

Cutting ties with family and moving out. Every apartment costs at least 20% more than I make monthly, a mortgage is out of the question after losing my credit last year, and working while living with these people is not sustainable. Every roommate is basically family but worse and there’s no way I’m moving out from living with family to live with someone worse than family. Even if I find roommates that aren’t nicotine or marijuana users, they’ll be something worse the minute I’m stuck with them. No one knows how it feels being the only person who doesn’t use that stuff, and being antagonized by groups of people withdrawing from it.

Why never on life, just asking. If it was completely ruined from the start, why not give up? If you spill ink over a painting, it’s ruined and you toss it out.

I think putting over 10 years towards a goal and never achieving it means you should just give up

Think it’s just you. Looked through my posts lol

Were you not there for the search for Ulterior Motives?

Being behind everyone sucks.

The thing is that I wake up at 4PM to go to work from 6PM to 6:30AM

At 7AM I’m done for the day. I want dinner.

Life. I tried several times to make it better and every time it “gets better” it actually gets worse than it was before. I was misdiagnosed as the blue puzzle piece and even though I literally am not that crap I’m still practically stalked by adult protective service even after changing my name and using a ups store as my “address”. I never tell anyone about the MISdiagnosis because they never believe it was a mistake. Yet a lot of people still infantilize me and talk to me like I’m minutes old. These people would treat a literal preschooler like they’re more mature than me. I can keep running but I can’t hide from that damn puzzle piece. And honestly I’m tired of running. 🥱🔫

Everyone can like or dislike anything, but that stupid puzzle piece made me like or dislike stuff. No, lostwave is not a “special interest” it’s just a thing I enjoy. I don’t play video games because of that stupid puzzle piece, I play games because they’re FUN. I made games for a hobby, not because that stupid fucking puzzle piece made me like programming. You don’t need to talk to other people about me in front of me like I’m an animal, about why these things “make me so happy”.

I hate how I’m perpetually too old AND too young for everything. Everything family friendly is age regression, and everything else is “not suitable” for me. Smash Bros and Overwatch were both, a game for little kids, and a game with too much violence. But if I don’t enjoy anything anymore, that stupid puzzle piece is why, and not all the bullshit I got from literally everyone in my life.

I give up on life because I’m sick and tired of living as a puppet controlled by a disorder I don’t even have. I’m tired of fighting to be human. I’m done.

… Yes?

Start wherever. Buy games with interesting covers or play free demos.

Good thing I hate “breakfast food” and only eat string cheese and croissants from there lmao

I loathe fast food breakfast like WHY is that a thing. Also my local taco bell serves lunch at 7am yayyy

But anyway I’d get breakfast from Starbucks

Work at amazon they hire anyone over 18 regardless of diplomas/degrees etc (at this time they’re hiring a lot and quickly! only go to hiring.amazon.com) If you get converted to regular permanent associate they pay your College Tuition and there’s more too

Delivery station is the easiest and as someone with lower cognitive ability (ptsd sucks that bad y’all) I can work there easily and it’s not overwhelming