Exception: when the quoted thing is the punchline

There’s crypto now? Wtf

What makes it better than Signal?

Ok. Which is yours? What’s your pitch?

Where along the DNC’s journey to the right do you hop off? Is it never? When do you hop off the electoral trend and join the Revolutionary trend?

And what is this revolutionary trend doing? Is there a plan? Because “let’s get Trump elected and hope for the best” really isn’t a great pitch

MBA requirement for graduation

I haven’t watched the Olympics in a long time but I thought the experience was kinda shit, especially compared to ye olden days of it being on every channel. My experience was basically:

My wife: What’s the difference between “Women’s all around final” and “women’s all around final (TV)”?

Me: googling I think we want the “TV” one?

30 second ad

20 seconds of a commentator talking over a view of Paris

2 minutes of ads

15 minutes of the camera just looking at an empty apparatus while there’s clearly other stuff going on in the background

2 minutes ads

30 seconds commentators discussing the event

2 minutes ads

Ok they actually fucking start, finally

Someone does something, 2 second MICRO AD??? This is a thing now apparently? Randomly throughout there’s these insanely short ads that are super jarring

Zoom in on Simone Biles face

Watch someone do a warmup on vault

Simone itches her nose

We can clearly hear other competitors doing things in the background, but Simone is looking to the right, so let’s focus on that

2 minutes ads

Watch a competitor do uneven bars, neat

Back to Simone, she’s talking to Suni now, we can’t hear it, but it must be important

Literally can see people doing flips and shit in the background, but let’s watch Simone as she sits in this chair

2 minutes ads

BREAKING NEWS: Simone blinks

“What did that other girl get for a score? Did they show it?”

Attempt to rewind 30 seconds. Big mistake, 2 minutes ads

Simone does a vault

2 minutes ads

…

Like I love Simone Biles, I do. Obviously I want to see all of her events. But holy shit, I’m here to watch the Olympics, not the “Simone is waiting for her turn” show. Also it was like 90% ads, they didn’t even show some of the highest scoring performances (since they only showed like 3 other people besides Simone), and half the time didn’t even show the scores they received. It was just…pretty bleh.

Lol, we still refer to movies shot with a shakey nauseating camera as “filmed Cloverfield-style”

ZTetris for the TI-83, that was where it was at in high school

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Committee_to_End_Pay_Toilets_in_America

We call upon you once again

• A refillable oil sprayer so that you can buy any oil you want and evenly coat a pan. Great for searing and air frying

What kind do you have? I bought one off Amazon and it was dogshit

Ummmmmm where can I watch this?!

Holy crap I forgot about Pern. I read a few of those in middle school and remember liking them a lot

Oh, but that would mean the website is just providing you information. That’s not the goal–we need to fingerprint your browser, track you, and serve you ads. Quid pro quo – if you want to know this recipe for cookies, we need to know your purchasing behavior for the past six months. Btw, can I use your location? How about notifications, can I send you those? And for the best experience, you really should be using the app. It’s actually just the website wrapped in an iOS/android package, but it lets us track you more effectively. Thanks!

Glerups. Greatest slippers I have ever worn.

Donate to the EFF.

the Arr stack of applications

The what now

Oh, you ain’t never encountered a boolean named the fucking opposite of what it does?