[deleted]

This.

I have a 14 year old device with a very obscure problem, does anyone have a solution for this?

Divorce him

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Sexy sexitors of sexxit, how do you sexily sex sex?

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I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at ‘This is why we can’t have nice things’ and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a ‘murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin’, I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You’re doing God’s work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I’ll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro.

CTRL+F “about tree fiddy” was not disappointed.

Wait, why do I have you tagged as “NOPE NOPE NOPE”? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as “YOU HAD ONE JOB”. I can’t fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I’ll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that’s enough internet for me today. 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don’t even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they’ll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn’t download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh.

Since rule #1 is ‘be attractive’, I’ll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now, so I’ll be in my bunk with dat ass. Oh, you! …now KISS!!! I know you should never stick your dick in crazy, but DM;HS.

…this kills the redditor.

OP will surely deliver. In the meantime, I’ll show myself out.

Directed by M. Night Shamallama

edit: accidentally a word

Please don’t ask me how I managed to take this picture…

I also choose this man’s dead wife.

RemindMe! 10 years

One summer when I was a teenager, my friends and I decided to take a road trip to the next town over. We packed up my old beat-up car and set off, eager for a day of adventure and mischief. As we cruised down the highway, windows down and music blaring, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of freedom and excitement. Little did I know that our carefree jaunt would take an unexpected turn in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.

I’m a leftist but I think insert fascist opinion here

Would have upvoted but it was at 69

Here’s a story told entirely from my point of view, edited to make me look good. Am I the asshole?