I have a big brain, so I refuse all microchips. I won’t settle for anything less than a macrochip.
they just shove a laptop in your skull
Like a pringle the size of a pool tarp
Time for a megachip
Unfortunately, Robotron went out of business.
“A small microchip about the size of a postcard”
Personally, I think the technology has great potential. But under capitalism? Fuck no.
Gimme open sourced brain chips and I’m in
You are now required to use the command line just to think.
Can you imagine getting stuck in vim?!
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Yes. Democratically produced and managed
Lol i would say no under any system.
There are legitimate, helpful uses for such technology
Yeah, for example as a coder being able to conjecture code just by thinking it would be magical.
Exactly. And the potential for VR and total immersion development. Thinking things into existence. The art people could make from pure imagination. A real metaverse.
I was thinking more along the lines of “Oh, this will make my legs work again!” or “This chip bypasses the damage done by [horrible brain disease] allowing you to reclaim some significant percentage of functionality”
That is another clear benefit, yes!
to do that with someone’s brain would be a nightmare, stray thoughts would fuck up the code and it would take forever to make anything comprehensible
Meh, I think the concept of interfacing directly with the brain is really interesting, I just don’t know if an Elon company is the one I want doing it.
Of course I’d rather have a brain interface that I didn’t have to implant though.
Even if it’s not Elon Musk. Do you want to have brain surgery every 2 years to implant a new chip because the old one is obsolete?
No, the tech needs to be developed such that regular surgery is unnecessary.
I agree, but even if I did have to replace it, say, once a decade, it would make the surgery much more likely to be a success. When you can control the restriction of blood flow using the bodies own mechanisms, shut off the immune response within that area to remove rejection, and control the pain with targeted painkillers all automatically, the chances of dying on the table go away down. Not to mention the possible benefits of controlling your perspective of time, controlling emotions, having a perfect memory, being able to experience perfect VR, being able to remotely control machines, learning instantly via a download, automated control of replacement/additional limbs, and elimination of exhaustion all make it pretty attractive.
I’d be completely fine with a usb port in the back of my skull to update it /s
And now you need to replace usb-c with usb-d, unless you just bought an iPhone 30 then you need a thunderstorm cable (modeled after Steve Jobs dick).
my USB-i’s are up here
That’s an impressively small connector!
Ahh a micro-p connector! It’s essentially a smooth surface with a small nub.
Cyberpunk style
Would I be able to use my body as a generator to have my movement create electricity to charge my phone?
If so I am all for it. Just moving my charging mussle.
New green initiative! Jerk off to save the world!
If it was from Apple, you’d end up with all your body parts as dongles. Including, uh, your dongle.
Cyberpenis
Whoa.
I agree that the concept is interesting, but honestly the damage that could be done with something like that is just not worth it.
With corporate greed you can’t be sure what weird step they decide to do next. And everything they do directly affects you. Not to speak of the possibility of getting hacked and having a weird version of the bee movie play in your head on loop.
Imagine ransomware for your memories
Either I cough up significantly more resources than I have, or they take decades of trauma away from me forever?
Alternative answer: YES!
Companies know best what is good for us and people crave stuff with a micro- prefix, like microplastics (yummy), microtransactions (funny), microbial infections (it’s like a pet), microwaves in your brain (tickles), etc.
^^ the most awesome answer!!! i love consooming!!!
micropenis!
I love my pet bacteria!
I read somewhere that we have more bacteria in/on our bodies than actual cells containing out own DNA, so really, who’s the pet here?
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I mean, that’s how cautionary tales such as Black Mirror are supposed to work
We can hardly get our self-designed computer systems to adequately communicate with each other or function. How confident are you that we can design an appropriate interface with our brain? Something which we still have yet to fully decipher?
In no way do I want venture capitalists and tech bros fucking fumbling around in my brain with hardware designed and constructed by the lowest bidder.
There is a non-zero chance that once they have a chip in your brain, they will find a way to stream ads in to it.
For that reason, I’m out.
Why stream ads when they can more-directly influence you?
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Waking up with an unavoidable craving to watch “OW! My balls!” I’m in!
/s
Hello You, come CloZer
Wait, you mean I can let the guy who invented a shittier version of a subway train (the tunnel has colorful LEDs though) and routinely bitches about safety regulations put computer chips in my brain?! Woah, sign me up for the future!
i cant believe they actually built that tunnel. they filled a nearly inescapable underground tube with cars known for combusting and burning for ages
Not only that, but burning aggressively. I’ve seen my share of car fires, having worked in EMS for 12 years, there’s no such thing as a gentle car fire; if they burned any more aggressively, they’d basically just explode. Well, something about the lithium makes these fires fucking rip and they’re a nightmare to put out. I just did some quick googling, and supposedly Li-ion battery fires are able to supply their own oxygen (holy shit), so you can’t put a lithium battery fire out by smothering it with water or foam. Maybe I’m wrong and someone who isn’t an Internet idiot (it’s me, I’m the idiot) can correct me, but that sounds hella bad, and like of one of those cars caught fire in that tunnel, that fire just flat out isn’t getting put out.
ive heard that too
That’s fine. That thing is halfway round the globe. I’ll be just fine
There is a long list of legit and or cook reasons to have a microchip in a brain. Controlling or assisting damaged brain structures, you can mitigate the symptoms.of Parkinsons, give vision to a blind person… but I also think the cool parts van be nice and probably are inevitable. Being able to communicate in your head, that sort of thing. I see it as something that will happen and people WILL do it.
Also, who do you think will make these chips? A fairy? Of course companies will (and already do) make them.
I think instead of screaming NONONO we should start thinking about what rules your any such companies to follow. Maybe have the design schematics be open source. A hard “off” button, somehow. A ban on ads and tracking (in combination with the hard off)
Yeah there are very start things possible, doesn’t mean it has to be like that
“Should doctors implant microchips in people’s brains”. Is the question, and the answer should be 100% between the doctor and patient.
Yeah, what is this meme? Like I get Elon is a douche. But I mean where do people think deep brain simulation and things that help tons of people already come from? We even have implantable devices that can record seizures directly from the brain surface and generate electric impulses to disrupt them. Not to mention pacemakers, spinal cord stimulators, etc. All these things have quite a lot of regulatory hurdles before reaching market. Obviously want to make sure that framework stays strong so no dystopian nonsense down the line happens. Once we get to the level of consumer grade brainchips, then I’ll start to worry.
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the dystopian plan
You should watch less tv, do less internet, and go outside a bit more
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Alright, we’ll just rip the implants keeping patients seizure free out of their heads and tell everyone with Parkinson’s sorry, brain implants have to be removed now, go back to being frozen. Saying we can’t use a technology because someone might do something bad with it someday could apply to literally any technology.
Or are you proposing getting rid of legal frameworks and regulation of medications would improve them somehow? Just let big pharma go realky wild? Strengthen our regulatory frameworks by all means, stop regulatory capture and all that, but an unbridled free for all with big pharma allowed to do, sell, and say whatever it wants about its products sounds horrific. I think you’re right to think the fda may have gotten a little too lenient with some approvals lately, but that’s an argument for stengthening the regulations not getting rid of them.
But yeah Elon isn’t allowed to sell this shit yet, and people have to elect to be involved in any trials. It’s their choice. If he ever tries to sell it, he’ll have to prove efficacy and safety. Without that regulatory framework he wouldn’t need to do even that, could just immediately launch it and lie about the capabilities a la tesla auto pilot, duping and killing a bunch of people likely.
Even with consumer grade brain chips, the risk isn’t a bit thing until there is a direct interface and even then it’s a question of what it can interface with. And even then it’s a matter of good design. Some hardware off switch would be a basic requirement, but also software firewalling would be a very basic requirement.
Interfaces, if done right, should not have to be a dystopian future, we won’t become the Borg just bectof some implant somewhere
People should watch less tv.
Medical usage is different from the general public and when, not if, someone figures out an exploit, u can bet I’ll be glad I never got one.
Given how big corpos are already fucking up the job market due to AI, it’s not such a good idea to go all in with cutting edge technologies right from the get-go
The job market evolves, you either evolve with it or you don’t. What do you think these implants are for? Lmao.
This isn’t just about the job market
Life is more than work, you fucking drone
Exactly, life is more than work. These brain implants have the potential to give a lot of people a lot more in life.
Not under the control of capital
You write like a tween who doesn’t know what they’re talking about
I’m so offended, I think I’ll sit in a corner angrily whilest thinking of what you did to me
If I can play videogames in my head while I’m at work, great. If my addict dopamine brain gets highjacked so that I don’t know how to do anything except consume ads then bad.
It will be the latter, and if you complain then people will call you a “privacy nutjob” because it will be considered normal
“Experiencing life without the chip is like stealing content”
I can hear it now
thats so true. “no-ones forcing you to get chipped (unless you want to work or buy anything or enter a mall or …)”
If the person has a disability and the chip somehow improves the condition, then, under extremely tight legislation, yes. Otherwise, no.
yeah, tons of informed consent too
Literally thw movie “upgrade”
Repo men comes to mind
Friendly reminder that pacemakers can and do get hacked
They usually have no security at all though for some reason, maybe for the same reason viruses spread like crazy in the early days of the internet, people didn’t consider that and assumed everyone was acting in good faith
Making a secure device isn’t reeeally that hard these days, as long as you don’t also have to consider physical access (which, if someone has access to physically probe the chip in your brain, you have bigger problems)
Security is an illusion a determined hacker will get into the brain chip
Should a profit-driven company do it?
HELL NO!
Should it be researched so one day it can be done cheaply, safely, healthily, with absolute control given to the person receiving the hardware?
HELL YES!
It’ll never happen. As long as there is any kind of economy there will be some greedy fuck running nike ads in your brain every time you think about shoes.
I can see them being a game changer for the medical industry, but before I’d trust putting them into anyone’s brains they need to be regulated into the ground first.
